My Lifetime with MICHAEL JACKSON, A Homage to the ‘Moonwalker’

27 06 2009


Those were and are still the most shocking headlines for me right now in 2009. They honestly don’t make much sense when I look at them together…because I honestly don’t remember living in a time without Michael Jackson.  Even if he wasn’t making headlines, or making good ones (which is a whole other discussion), I knew I could count on feeling the presence of Michael in the world,

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

somehow, sometime, if not just from hearing one of his many hits on the radio in a day, or if I so decided to swim in my puddles of joyful nostalgia (which I often do) and pull “The History” up on my itunes on my morning commute to work.

There’s nothing like the joy, or revelry, or pensive introspection that comes usually with the melodies that only a Michael Jackson song can conjure up from within us.

Funny I should mention that previous statement.   June 25, 2009, was actually one of those days that I felt the “inert” desire bubbling from deep within me to “Swim in my puddles of nostalgia” and hear some Jackson Five!  It’s wild!  I was even irritated with myself for not having my Jackson Five hits album imported into my computer already when I went to look for it.  So promptly, I imported my Jackson Five fix and uploaded my favorites of it (the majority) into my ipod with the “grand” idea of playing them poolside.

Yes, I was debuting my “poolside-wear” for the first time this summer, in the company of a dear new friend, and her lovely friend who cordially invited me to come to a posh, pool-spot in the “Uptown” area of Denver that afternoon. The day itself was overshadowed by an “ominous” cloud cover.  We set up shop by the pool anyhow.  The crowd soon loving the Jackson Five coming from our ipod speakers, Air-drum action and all.  How little did we know.

michael-jackson fine


Amazing because, that “ominous cloud-cover” became completely sure of rain. As we sang along to the soulful plea of “Who’s Lovin You,” drops began to fall from the sky. We wrapped swiftly as the drops increased in speed and mass.  That was only the beginning of Mother Nature’s Monsoon tribute, which then continued to pour out what seemed to be symbolic of the tears that would later well from the depths of every Michael Jackson fans’ soul in the world.

Needless to say, that Monsoon would soon become a great flash-flood, that would have me pulling over to “wait-out” the blow-over, and, subsequently, ending up stranded at a local grocery store one mile from my home, for over an hour.  Never had I experienced a flood like that. This day and the following, the world will cry for Michael.

Michael Jackson was a phenomenon from his birth, and my introduction to music appreciation.  What’s funny is, as a young child, a pre-schooler in the 80’s, naturally, I never knew Michael as the cute little black boy from the Jackson Five.  Yet he existed in my life for as long as  I could remember.  For me, he was first and foremost, The Moonwalker.  At that stage, he was already world-reknowned, and still rising.  To me then, he was my “hero” and future “husband.” Lol.

 'Moonwalker.' Note: Whoever finds this DVD for me is my new best friend!

'Moonwalker.' Note: Whoever finds this DVD for me is my new best friend!

He was ALSO the one and only NON-cartoon movie that I would LIVE and BREATHE to watch all the way through.  Moonwalker was iconic even in 1987.  It was the ultimate Friday “special treat” in my predominantly black pre-school environment: my teachers would bargain,  “If ya’ll are good, we can watch Moonwalker!”   I remember, my childhood friends and I in pre-school, cheering with the utmost joy, just waiting to see the first music-video clip of MJ on the screen, so we could dance and sing along with it.

I remember, “Man In the Mirror” had to be one of the 1st songs of his that I memorized the lyrics to, because it was always the 1st video shown on the Moonwalker.  As a black child growing up in Denver, Colorado, where our numbers were few and far between, Michael united us.  All of us, little black babies, and white and latino babies alike, we came together in song, dance and celebration whenever  Michael shouted out the prominent hooks of “Bad”, “Beat It”,  “Billy Jean”, “The Way You Make Me Feel” and “Thriller.”

I remember when watching the Moonwalker, watching the kids’ rendition of “Bad” in complete Michael_jackson_bad_1envy, and wanting SO badly to be one of those kids in the Michael video, just to feel he knew me.  I already felt like I knew him– after the Moonwalker, what more does one need to know of Michael? Lol.  What ever the case, we all thought those kids dancing in the video were by far, the coolest kids in the world.  Who could forget the “Can you Feel It” video, the Jackson’s emulating the “Creation Story!”  Now that’s one video, that my brother and I thought we were both in.  Like he could touch us, and we him.  That’s one that slipped under the radar, and it’s absolutely incredible and worthy of mention.  He had such a love for us as children.  I knew it even back then, I could feel it.  Michael was everything magic after Disney. Outside of family, Michael Jackson was my first hero, and I wanted to be his friend, or girlfriend. 🙂

Michael J Doll

Michael J Barbie!

I was a BARBIE fiend, like many of us “girly-girls” were–perfectly content when armed with a little briefcase full of barbie dolls and barbie clothing.  Back then, boys who were “cool” played with action figures, and would wince at the thought of even being caught holding a barbie doll.  There was however one exception, and that was if you were the bearer of the Michael Jackson Thriller Doll.  Michael had a barbie, and my brother was given one.  His instant joy upon recieving the only doll he ever owned was indescribable.   He loved the Michael doll, and he was “cool” for having one.

Later on however, his need for that Michael doll fell away as things do when we get older, and so I adopted it into my collection, and was dawned yet another gift of Michael Jackson soon after.  I visited family in New York one summer when I was about 8 years old or so, and a family friend, a preteen girl by the name of Angel, gave me a mixtape that included Michael’s “Bad” album.  It was among the first cassete tapes of music that I owned.

So when I got home, I had a soundtrack for my barbie “sagas.”  I would sit in my room for hours, creating dramas between my barbies.  I would have my Michael entertain them. Sometimes he would be included in the drama, love triangles and such, and when he would choose a love himself, “Liberian Girl” was often the song of choice for the occasion.  🙂  That was one of the first of his “love songs” that I fell in love with. Also, I’d like to note, that there’s no other artist I know of that has ever expressed romantic love for an” African” beauty.

What he does best!

What he does best!

Even now, I still believe that the R&B love ballads and songs of Michael Jackson are some of the greatest of our time. He knew the kind of love he wanted and he knew how to make people want it from him.  He was sexy.  That’s an undeniable fact. I feel these songs are often over-looked, and overshadowed and of course they would be when you look at his “more prominent” works.  Still always remember “Lady In My Life” ,”Remember the Time”, “Who Is It”, “In the Closet”, “Liberian Girl”, “She’s Out of My Life”, “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You”,”Give In To Me”, “You are not Alone”, “You Rock My World”, “Butterflies”, “Heaven Can Wait” and “Break of Dawn.”

In the Moonwalker, there is a snippet of Michael and the Jackson Five.  They do this clay-animation forma`ge that’s really awesome as they run through “ABC,” “Rockin Robin” and “Dancing Machine” and have Michael explaining as a child, his big heart for all the world.  I was watching that at home, and I asked my mother about that “boy,” that boy is Michael Jackson too mommy?  She then

The Jackson Five, Who's dat boy in the middle? :)

The Jackson Five, Who's dat boy in the middle? 🙂

proceeded to educate me on the Jackson Five by watching the “Jackson Five Cartoon” with me.  I was an instant fan, relating all the more to Michael as a child, because he was a child too!

I think every child growing up then wanted to dance like Michael.  And thus we are a generation of dancers.  Michael Jackson made it the coolest thing to do.  He was “it.”  Every girl wanted to be WITH him, and every boy wanted to BE him. He could do no wrong in our eyes, and everyone, other celebrities he was friends with were liked because if Michael liked them, they must be cool.

There was so much variety to his music. In SO MANY ways, I could define myself, my feelings on an issue, with a song by Michael Jackson.  I’m not the only one that felt that way, and  that is in fact why he was the “King of Pop.”  His messages were universal, he was SO relatable in lyricism, and



unstoppable as a performer…which kept that certain “magic” about him.  If you didn’t know, you could see it, one performance by Michael Jackson, and be made a believer.  A believer in the power of music, and it’s impact when it’s been DONE RIGHT.  I wish I could have had the honor of seeing him live in concert.

Every solution to any challenge I faced could be found in a Michael Jackson song.  As we grew into the 90’s with him, what struck me more and more was my wittnessing of the Humanitarian in him.  “Man in the Mirror” was the beginning for me, and probably my favorite of all of his “Help Humanity” type songs.  He did have more of those than any other artist I can recall.  I believe he started a trend among pop vocalists in those type of songs.  Because of him, I cared for humanity more.

When Michael sang, he didn’t just sing.  He moved with the words in a spirit of passion.  He moved as though his music were a stream of power that was sure to make him take flight.  No one had to guess what it meant when he did his unmistakeable air-hump with the now trade-mark, crotch-grab that made him BAD!  He moved in divine spirit.  A spirit which I now am sure was that of the Holy Ghost.  He screeched, and wooped; he lept around on the stage.  He allowed himself to become completely taken in the enrapturment of his music.  In turn, so did we.

That is why at his concerts, oftentimes people were overcome by tears, and passing out in the crowd.  They were experiencing the Holy Ghost.  That’s one thing to note, is the massive

Doin his THANG!!!

Doin his THANG!!!

pandemonium at Michael Jackson’s concerts.  It wasn’t just two or three people moved to obsessive mental exassperation, try hundreds of thousands, all literally going “Wacko over Jacko.”  His concerts were held in the millions in some places.  People losing sleep from excitement and not eating before they went  had something to do with it too.  To have such impact, astonishing.

Not only that, but MJ had a PR Campaign that was out of this world!  April of this year, I purchased both DVD volumes of “The History.”  In the opening is the pandemonium, armies marching, and Michael all suited up in his “Ambassador of the World” getup amidst hundreds of soldiers.  He used governmental imagery to make his presense to the world known.  I honestly believe he wanted to be looked upon as a “prince of peace”, and even to go so far as a demi-god.   I say that because the finaly of “The History’s” opening is of a massive, golden statue of Michael Jackson being unveiled on the streets of some seemingly european city.  Spectators, media helicopters and the like, all trying to capture the glory.

The King

The King

As much as he may have liked us to think it at times, and though he had the God-given merit, Michael Jackson was no God.  I feel the Lord allowed us to all witness, despite all his great works and majesty, that Michael was still a man.  And we would discover the deeply flawed and misguided individual that he was.  Michael Jackson was indeed a sensitive soul.  A special individual from his earliest beginnings.  He was lavished deep psychological scars upon himself  by those closest to him,

Little Michael

Little Michael

namely Jo Jackson, his own father.

His father was, in Michaels’ sense, overbearingly hypercritical and demanded nothing but the utmost perfection from Michael.  This in turn left deep bruises of insecurity, and ultimately seeded the sometimes bizarre and eccentric, child-like behavior that Michael would exude and become known for throughout his career.

Probably the most obvious psychological damage was that exuded in the literal morphing of his own image.  To this day, he is probably thought of as the person with the most reconstructive facial surgery done, ever!  He was NEVER done “fixing his face.”  And that came with repercussions that would be mocked across the globe.  He was a laughing stock, in that sense.  Sadly, He became demonized by the American press after his first accusations of child-molestation in 1993, which were never

The last face I'll keep...

The last face I'll keep...


He had an uncanny love for children, young boys especially.  This, we all wittnesed first-hand in his various relationships with young male celebrities of the day, namely McCauley Culkin.  Nothing out the norm, just good old-fashioned friendship.  Those celebrities never had any issues.  Just the “average Joes” kids that he would allow into his home.  They all wanted something out of him…$$$.

On that note, that is not to say that Michael was blameless in the accusations.  Granted, no grown man  of his stature should be sharing his bed with 12 year old boys.  But why take it to that place of perversion in our minds that “something other” should be going on besides sleep in that scenario?   Knowing the love of innocence that has always been apparent in MJ’s character.  Why did we have to draw these conclusions?  It’s  a societal mindset, and it doesn’t hold true in other places in the world.

Whatsonever, the early millenium brought Michael down to an all-time low in his career.  No respect from his home country anymore. Like that, the brightest star in the galaxy had fallen.  Most people didn’t look back because by then he had 2 accusations under his belt.  Both unfounded.  Plus his facial structure was deteriorating and the name, “Wacko Jacko” became befitting in many scenarios.  People forgot how much he had done for the world…it’s very sad in retrospect.  I’ll be honest, I laughed at him.  A lot.  However, I never believed he had the capacity to harm a child, sexually or other.  Deep down, he was a child himself.  A sheltered, and over-exploited little black boy with God-given, barrier-breaking talent from Gary, Indiana.

I think what a lot of people fail to understand about Michael is that he embodied the spirit of Peter Pan, in a sense that he never wanted to live the way he did.   He never got to be a regular kid, he even KNEW THAT as a kid. So in order to counter the pressures of rising above standard, and growing up famous, the tremendous amount of stress that embodies…he remained a child inside.  He built “Never Never Land” right here on earth, to ensure that he would keep that essence of childhood somewhere.  A place where children could be children.  Where he could be a child with children, and absorb their essence.  He knew what was denied him his whole life, it pained him, so he compensated for it the best he knew how.  Lord knows he had the money to do it. Childhood was the sacrifice, the payment Michael Jackson never forgot for Super-stardom.

He was a godsend for sure.   Sent to deliver the beautiful, unshakable, undeniable message of God to the world.  I wittnessed that first-hand with his performance of “Will You Be There,” (the song from “Free Willy”).  He lived his life out on stages, I realize now that I’m glad God called him home

In Memorandom

In Memorandom

now.  The question arose on Larry King the other day, “Could you really see Micheal Jackson grow Old?” Imagine him, in his later 70’s and 80’s, talkin about, “I wanna Rock wit you…” lol.  Honestly, I can’t. Not that I can’t, but I don’t really want to either.

God was timely with MJ’s homecoming, it was either now, or on some stage during his 50-world tour stint that he was planning.  The Lord didn’t let him die a slave to the art.  I’m glad.  Michael honored the Lord, he lived his purpose, and when one actually does fulfill their purpose here on earth, why live any longer on this plane of existence that often comes filled with pain and sorrow?  Pain ruled over Michael here, why else would one take so many pain-killers? (haha *nervous grin*).

He left an undying legacy for us all.  Let it live on through us, the children of the 80’s and the 90’s (they call us Generation Y, I believe). He was cool.  A christian, whether he knew it or not. He was awesome. Absolutely inspiring.  Extraordinary. Stupendous. A legend. The original Icon. He didn’t just do love songs like some before him.  However, ALL of  his songs were EMPOWERING LOVE in some way.  They say God is love.  A job well done, Mike. 🙂

He couldn’t have topped that.  🙂

MJ, you were loved. MUUUAH!!! Rest In Peace baby!


Connie Culp–Domestic Violence Survivor

5 05 2009

Sometimes I hate men.  Let me re-word that–

This is survivor, Connie Culp after the shooting.

This is survivor, Connie Culp after the shooting.

I hate the depths that evil can go into the human spirit.  The way it can twist the minds of men to believe they are something that they’re not.  Evil will have men believing that they have the power to take the life of another.  When they believe they can, they will. I hate it.

This is exactly what happened to this woman.  Though she still stands breathing today…her life was taken from her by a man, and not just any man, by her husband.  Her HUSBAND did this to her!  And I know domestic violence is an on-going Global phenomenon, and has been since human existence…I wish I knew how to infiltrate “Enough is Enough” into the world of Rhianna and Chris Brown…but the fact of the matter is, the only difference between her case and HUNDREDS of THOUSANDs of others, is that she happened to survive for reasons I swear only God knows!

He (her husband) took her physical life though! He meant to take it all…But even HE could not BARE that burden…people THINK they have the power to take another human life.  But most DON’T because when they succeed in taking that one life… they CAN’T LIVE WITH THEMSELVES.  It’s proven time and time again…he shot himself.  But THEY BOTH SURVIVED!!!! God is amazing. Untouchable.

And now, yes, she’s a medical breakthrough…but look at what COST!  Her HEART is DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR…guaranteed.  Imagine…your facial bone structure being completely pulverized and caved in by a SHOTGUN, 8 ft from Your HEAD!!!  And for WHAT REASON??? Due to some wholly SELFISH attempt to take your life at the hands of the person whom you have literally given your life to!

Pussycat Dolls— “I hate…this… part… right…. here!”—-

God only knows…she’s alive for a reason…so is her DISGUSTING HUSBAND (Though he shot himself in the head too) There’s a special place in hell! Sadly, you can find it right here on Earth too!

However much I ALSO hate to say it…this MAY have been been able to have been prevented…had she found a way to leave him sooner, before he DECIDED that he would leave it to the SHOTGUN to determine!


I hate it.

We all thought Rhianna’s face was on ‘swole’….And it’s just the emotional scars that leave me wondering…this woman can’t be the same person she was before being shot in the face by her husband.

I thought it to be kind of a blessing (so call me shallow) when I read that she had gone blind from the incident…although I wonder how long it had been before she could see again.  And if she could see in the mirror, would she see the selfish act that caused the scar that is now her face?  That’s gotta be…I can’t even imagine the pain.

To live after certain death…and your FACE COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED for it.

Connies' new face. Although it's easier on the eye, it still won't be able to cover up the permanent scar of Domestic Abuse.

Connies' new face. Although it's easier on the eye, it still won't be able to cover up the permanent scar of Domestic Abuse.

God Bless Connie Culp.

I pray that she lives well…and that her purpose is found.

The Soloist

28 04 2009

Jamie Foxx is lookin’ to get another Oscar for this one…

Jamie Foxx is Nathaniel Ayers, The Soloist

Jamie Foxx is Nathaniel Ayers, The Soloist

how incredible is he??  How PERFECT of a role for him to play…Jamie can’t seem to stray too far from the music…the love of music, which he as himself–innately– also has.  So it’s a given for him, and a “Straight-up Gift from God.”  A gift for his gift of acting, and music…what a treat it must’ve been.  He will reap the rewards…as long as he doesn’t make too much of an ass of himself in the process.

Oh my tangents…;)

A dear fellow alumni and friend of mine called me “out-of-the-blue” today because she was just “itching” to see The Soloist with Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx…both extraordinary performances.

So we went to see it…funny because it was showing in two different theatres, one right across the way from the other… So how about we go LEFT when the ticketer had TOLD US to go RIGHT…we walk in on what is–unbeknownst to us at the time–the FRickin Middle of the damn movie!  We sit there…trying to hone in on what’s happening…I ask for the ticket stubs…we were in theatre 3…we needed to be in 6!  Lol…thank God I checked…well, we woulda figured it out eventually…COLLEGE GRADS…right!? LOL.

*Big Sigh* of relief as we make our way into the correct theatre…previews ablast….whew!   I was gonna be pissed had it not worked out the way it did. 😀

If you know about passion, come see this film.  If you feel alone in the world…come see this film. If you are a TRUE MUSIC HEAD, you’ll love this film.  Bring a friend who has been feeling down on themselves, this may sound a bit arrogant, but this film is a great way to feel better about your life situation.  If you are a believer, you will be fully re-affirmed in your faith.  God is amazing…maybe even if you need a good cry, to rejoice for your life and the people in it, see it for yourself.  This film is art recognizing art…If you are a journalist, musician, artist…If you worked for a dying, or now deceased newspaper, if you’re in search of what’s next…

Check it out.  🙂  *HIGHLY RECOMMENDED*  !!!

I Am Sent (Inspired by the story of the Samaritan Woman)

24 04 2009
Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Time

22 04 2009

I just spoke to one of my only lifelong friends.  I am instantly inspired…The last couple of weeks have been timultuous, as far as my emotional life goes.  But my friend, he has just confirmed something for me and himself, unknowingly that had been the source of our many debates over the years.  That debate is of passion. And following it.   You see, I have always known myself to be an artist, my art is writing.  My imagination is something I now know to be a gift from God.  Anyway, I always told him I would follow my passion to write and become successful in life, earning my living doing it.  He didn’t believe one could pursue their passion and be successful; he thought that all it could amount to is “starving artistry.”

Well, he just unwittingly confirmed his prior beliefs to be wrong…as NOW, he is actually in HEAVY pursuit of his own lifelong passion, which has always been music.  He is a singer, dancer, actor extraodinaire in the making…and as he brought testimonials of his musical pursuits down upon my head this evening, I just had flashbacks from a time in his younger life when he put “foolish” dreams of music aside and began “being realistic” and working and saving money, because money is the only thing that is proof of any “real success.”  Hahahahaha…I remember that attitude, he put it on display constantly throughout middle and high school….

Well look how far he’s come…now a man, a “GRown Ass Man” as we like to say, hehe.  He is now a living testament, in my mind, that we, human beings, cannot deny the gifts that God has given us.  And if we do, we are surely to perish, if not in the flesh, in spirit, for sure. Something of us dies.  Something dies inside of us and makes life all the more unbearable when we suffocate those natural gifts given unto us.

With that said, I am ELATED to tears, that my friend has now overcome that false mentality of “Material Gain” determining his worth.  He knows who he is, and I am SO PROUD of him…mind you, he still WORKS more and harder than most people I know (two jobs in Economic recession, haha), he is blessed in more ways than one, I am so proud of him…AND the best thing about it is he is doing it all for the LOVE of his MUSIC! He’s come full circle in many ways…Tonight he has inspired me to the depths of my spirit, to do what is right for me, and for God…I too, am to shine.  His shear and unshakeable determination that I can feel burning within him is what “shook me up” to write this.   I’ll be damned if I stop now!

Salvation through Inspiraton :)

Salvation through Inspiraton 🙂

MABC, I LOVE YOU!!! Thank you!!!  MUAH!!!

One Word to Subdue Us All

21 01 2009


Miniscule itty-bitty


Mi-nute “it”…why?

Yours–nor my ignorance.


Ignore the “itty-bitty” ones

whom, in your mind,

bring to thee

false glory.

4 Y Must I be a MI-NOR-ITY?


Or is it that you simply refuse to see,

together in number,

WE are actually GREATER

than thee.×31.png